passing train on the tracks

“I saw my earlier selves as different people, acquaintances I had outgrown. I wondered how I could ever have been some of them.” ―Roger Zelazny

I remember the first time learning how to drive. My dad taught me on our very dated 1992 Dodge Caravan. I was in the 10th grade. I only had my license for a little while but my dad wanted me to get the feel of being behind the wheel. He used to take me to a church parking lot 2-3 minutes from our house and I would practice my turns, parallel parking (still not a fan of that), reverse, etc. I got the hang of it after a while…in the parking lot. However, the first time my dad said, “okay now you can drive us home.”

I freaked.

Drive us home? I immediately began to panic and told him I wasn’t ready, even though he knew I was.

I didn’t drive us home that day. Or the next time we had lessons. Or the next time.

I kept telling my dad that I wasn’t ready and that I needed to get the hang of everything first.

I was using my fear as a crutch.

And then traveling my journey of Life, I realized that I did that a lot. I used my fear of moving forward as a crutch. I was leaning on something that was barely holding me up. Experiencing various situations in my life, most particularly, the negative ones, I was too afraid to either come face to face with them. I thought that if I did meant I was weak and had to admit that I was living a Life that wasn’t feeding me spiritually, emotionally, or mentally.

Moving forward meant that I was in a place that I didn’t need to be in. A place that I stayed in too long because I was afraid to walk without my crutches.

But how crazy is that?

When individuals become injured, sometimes they express how they can’t wait to stop using the crutches and be able to walk normally again, however, when it comes time for the crutches to disappear, they’re hesitant. They often wonder if 1.) they’ll be able to walk the same or 2.) will they be able to walk at all.

It’s funny how in Life, we are in tough situations or comfort zones and we either daydream, ponder or talk about improving our lives. But yet we are afraid to take that next step in doing so. We are afraid that something might go wrong, when in reality everything might just go right.

You see we can’t keep leaning on something that’s not meant to hold us up forever. We can’t keep trying to make temporary situations permanent. Our lives weren’t meant to mediocre. We all deserve a magnificent Life, whatever that looks like for everyone.

All I know is don’t be afraid to take the step…without the crutch.


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