“Sometimes people get on your nerves and you have to check them Ms. Turner.”
Wise words from one of the frequent students that visits me in my office. Although I laughed when she initially made that statement, it reverberated with me after the fact.
Sometimes we do have to check people. Of course, read them with all due respect but sometimes we do have to let people know, especially the ones we love, when they need to rethink, re-evaluate and reflect on their life. I have been in situations where my thought process was foggy and jaded because of whatever I was dealing with. I wasn’t making the best decisions or I was allowing the wrong people to get inside my head.
I wasn’t checking myself nor was I checking the person or people around me who weren’t feeding me positive information. And positive information doesn’t necessarily come in the form of a happy face or demeanor, sometimes it comes in the form of respectful tough love. And honestly, I used to push that away.
But now that I’m older and I’ve been able to decipher the “love” truth and the “hate” truth, I was able to figure out who was speaking to me out of love & altruism and who was speaking to me out of jealousy & insecurity. In turn, I had to make sure that when I felt the need to check someone, I had to make sure it was coming out of love. I had to make sure that my heart was truly in the right place when approaching the people that I love about situations, aspects, or anything of the sort in their life that could potentially deter them on their path. And I also had to make sure that I wasn’t passing judgement on my loved ones.
That’s where the self-reflection comes in. That’s the time when you check yourself. Relaying information out of love is essential to establish trusting relationships with the people in your life or even people that you meet in passing. And with growth, when people check you it will be received with admiration and consideration.
And checking yourself won’t feel like a harsh reality but a renewing of your spirit and energy. You will receive that self-reflection and evaluation as a means to better yourself.
“The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” -Gloria Steinem