Me.

I feel defeated

I don’t feel strong

I’m exhausted

I feel as though my efforts go unnoticed

And my worth isn’t seen

I look the way I feel

I have my highs and lows

But I feel low right now

I feel like I’m in a valley that I didn’t see coming

And I’m too tired to walk up the mountain

The journey that I’m on feels long

But the road behind me is far in the distance

My thoughts consume me

My brain is tired

And I feel misunderstood

I’ve attracted energies that were detrimental and some that were quenching

I’ve come close to love

Was I too much?

Or not enough

Does my life scare them?

I have baggage

Some that people have left me to hold and some that I’m willingly carrying

I get lonely

I get scared

I get angry

I’ve had to talk myself down

Lift up my hands in prayer

And cry in a room by myself

I’m comprised of different facets

But they are all equal to me

I’ve battled demons, internally and externally

I’ve loved and lost

And I’m still willing to love some more

I’ve been the womb to life four times

With every experience bringing me closer to who I am

I’ve nursed

I’ve listened

I’ve held

And I’ve comforted

I’ve fought

I’ve prayed

I’ve cried

And I’ve drifted

My heart is big with room to spare

Yet my soul is still searching for many answers

Answers to questions that I can’t ask out loud

I’m indecisive

But I know what I don’t want

I love hard

It’s a gift and a curse

I think too hard

It’s a gift and a curse

I feel energies

It’s a gift and a curse

I get gut feelings

It’s a gift and a curse

Music brings me joy

And my creativity is mad at me

Some of my wounds are still open

While others are battle scars

Words are my refuge

While books are my escape

And I’m still figuring myself out

This is me.

“The wound is the place where the light enters you.” -Rumi

 

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