I feel defeated
I don’t feel strong
I’m exhausted
I feel as though my efforts go unnoticed
And my worth isn’t seen
I look the way I feel
I have my highs and lows
But I feel low right now
I feel like I’m in a valley that I didn’t see coming
And I’m too tired to walk up the mountain
The journey that I’m on feels long
But the road behind me is far in the distance
My thoughts consume me
My brain is tired
And I feel misunderstood
I’ve attracted energies that were detrimental and some that were quenching
I’ve come close to love
Was I too much?
Or not enough
Does my life scare them?
I have baggage
Some that people have left me to hold and some that I’m willingly carrying
I get lonely
I get scared
I get angry
I’ve had to talk myself down
Lift up my hands in prayer
And cry in a room by myself
I’m comprised of different facets
But they are all equal to me
I’ve battled demons, internally and externally
I’ve loved and lost
And I’m still willing to love some more
I’ve been the womb to life four times
With every experience bringing me closer to who I am
I’ve nursed
I’ve listened
I’ve held
And I’ve comforted
I’ve fought
I’ve prayed
I’ve cried
And I’ve drifted
My heart is big with room to spare
Yet my soul is still searching for many answers
Answers to questions that I can’t ask out loud
I’m indecisive
But I know what I don’t want
I love hard
It’s a gift and a curse
I think too hard
It’s a gift and a curse
I feel energies
It’s a gift and a curse
I get gut feelings
It’s a gift and a curse
Music brings me joy
And my creativity is mad at me
Some of my wounds are still open
While others are battle scars
Words are my refuge
While books are my escape
And I’m still figuring myself out
This is me.
“The wound is the place where the light enters you.” -Rumi